The Slight Edge

Slightedge

The Slight Edge

Goodmorning Fabulous readers,
Last night I spent 1 hour reading a book called ‘Slight edge’.
I recommend it highly -it’s just a few pounds if you buy the kindle or eVersion of it.

The slight edge in a nutshell can be summarised as- if you have ever been successful at anything, look at what you did to be successful, repeat those steps and you WILL KEEP BEING SUCCESSFUL!!! It is that simple!
No mystery!
No catch!

I felt this was really relevant to healthcare professionals involved in helping people lead healthy lives and lose weight.

I support several women and men in my weight loss/healthy lifestyle program.
I teach my ladies (and gents!) this:

You have lost weight.
What did you do to lose weight?
What food choices did you make?
What type and amount of exercise did you do?

Just keep repeating the same steps and YOU WILL KEEP LOSING WEIGHT!!

No mystery nor magic!
Just continuing the same steps.
Repeat it today and tomorrow and the next….
In other words make it a lifestyle 👊
Have a fabulous day friends❤️

Dr Adaeze Ifezulike

ps: Are you are struggling with your weight or have weight related medical conditions such as Hypertension, Diabetes, Arthritis, Metabolic syndrome? Get in touch today!!  I want to help you. Health is Wealth!

Hyperglycaemia 101


 Goodmorning Fabulousreaders

Welcome to class Healthy living 101 lol😀
Topic: Hyperglycaemia

Just a reminder about why we discourage foods with high glycemic values like processed carbohydrates such as frosted cornflakes and surgary drinks.

Please take a look at the charts above.

When you take high glycemic foods, they are immediately converted to GLUCOSE in the body (you might as well just eats up a plate of sugar, right?)🙈😅
This causes a massive glucose spike (HYPERGLYCAEMIA) in your blood stream. This is SOOO O O BAD for your blood vessels.
The hormone INSULIN swings into action to try and mop up all this glucose and you end up at the other end (HYPOGLYCAEMIA). This is also SOOO OOO BAD for your body and powerful cravings set in making you ravenously hungry, even though you ate not too long ago (that explains why you got so hungry just 2 hours after that massive plate of white rice, see?)🤔😏
Swings in BLOOD Glucose are dangerous for the body.
Aim to always eat foods with low glycemic value as they release sugar gently and keep you fuller for longer.
*Tip: Always eating a higher proportion of vegetables with any meal ensures that glucose in the meal is released slowly. So if you are having white rice (high glycemic value) ensure that you eat it with LOADS OF VEGETABLES.
Assignment S’ il vous plait 😂😂practicing my French here.
1. Search up on hyperglycaemic foods.
Have a lovely day friends 😘😘😘😘😘

6 weeks to a Fabulous you!!

Hello Friends,Just wanted to catch up with you as we are a few days into the New Year now. How’s it going so far?

Did you make some resolutions? If so, how are they going? Would you like some help in making them stick this time?

You see, that’s what I do and why I am different. For me, the nutrition stuff is important and I’ll of course teach you that and bust some myths in the process. The really juicy stuff though, is all in the mind!

Join us on our Six Week Reset challenge and we’ll help you uncover what’s been holding you back, and smash through to make that lasting change now.

We’d love to help you on your journey…

If you are overweight, suffer from Hypertension, Joint pains/Arthritis, Diabetes, chronic tiredness, lack of energy, poor sleep or just want to lead a healthier life,

SIGN UP TODAY, and save a massive £147! Making the cost to you just £50!!

Use this LINK now! (the promo code is already applied)

You won’t ever get a discount bigger than this… we just want to help as many people as possible make 2016 your year!

Hear what my client says:

“I was a good size 12-14 but after I had my son went to size 20-22! Everyone commented on how fat I looked, was called all sorts of derogatory names….but I always turned those comments into jokes.

This however was not a joke: The breathlessness, sleepless nights, bloating, taking antacids and muscle relaxants for my bladder on a daily basis were not fun at all!! Being a health professional I should have been embarrassed but I found all excuses to say how difficult losing weight was. I lied. Losing weight is so easy!!!!

I am so grateful for my union with Dr Adaeze- one of the most amazing people I have met in 2015! She has been very supportive and always very knowledgeable. God bless! I owe you sister!
I started my proper reset in early November. Resetting was the beginning of me loathing all bad foods, unhealthy carbs, cravings and appreciating a truly healthy meal. It was strange how much I started to crave for salads and soups, fish, chicken…instead of the usual poisons!

I now feel very healthy and light! NO MORE MEDICATION!!!

From 100kg, I am now 92kg in just 2 months!!

Resetting is the best gift you can give yourself. Being here is all what I needed to kick-start the weight loss.
I still have a very long way to go but how glad and lucky I am to be with you all! Without Dr Adaeze and everyone here, I wouldn’t have done it.” ~Healthcare professional

“All my clothes are now baggy and the old tight ones are now fitting me. For the first time in my suit career, I can now button my jacket easily” ~Professional in the Oil and Gas Industry.

“I started off at 101kg but now 88kg. I always had high blood pressure, fatigue due to anaemia and ulcer, so I had very ‘good’ excuses not to exercise but to eat.

Had my last 2 kids back to back and just never lost the baby fat but was left with a ‘kangaroo pouch’.

Now I am more alert. I used to always wake up tired and wanting to rest a bit more before getting up.That’s gone!! I literally wake up with a spring now” ~ mother of 4

I really hope you chose to join us on Monday 1st February as we start the journey- we look forward to helping you become the best version of yourself!

Your Six-Weeks to a fabulous YOU starts here

Our next Six Week Reset challenge this year starts on MONDAY 1st February!!

Now is your chance to sign up and be part of an already great group of people ready to make 2016 their best year! It’s time for you to join us!

See YOU at the TOP.

Warm regards,

Dr Adaeze Ifezulike.

 

 

DAMAGE LIMITATION PACKAGE: Happy HEALTHY Holidays 2015!

Gift of health

Its that season when we all feel merry and light. The season to party and rejoice with friends and family.

But you have to admit that no matter how into ‘healthy lifestyle’ you are, chances are that this is one time of year you kinda slip up or slack off a bit…

You will have ‘weight gain’ and ‘hangovers’ to worry about… unless you have a DAMAGE CONTROL plan to keep things in check.

Well, my friend Jon has come up with this brilliant DAMAGE LIMITATION PACK for you to control the damage you are likely to cause your body, during this festive season.

As another friend Tyler puts it, this package will ensure you “feel on top form everyday and you can still get into your little black dress or feel good to go again with the family or the lads on a night out.”


The Damage Limitation Pack Explained.

The ESSENTIALS – Your Multi-Vitamin/Mineral/Antioxidant combination of the highest quality. This plugs up EVERY nutritional gap your food contains especially at this time as we eat energy dense but nutrient poor foods. (Worth £42.50) Everyone should be on the Essentials as a baseline for optimal nutrition.

essentials

BIOMEGA – Simply Pure Fish Oil and the best there is. Most say they check for mercury, but that doesn’t mean they take it out. These guys do.

It’s the best anti-inflammatory you can take; it turns on your fat burning hormones, turns off your fat storage hormones.

Its superb for: healthy joints, brain development, skin, hair, nail and eye. It also supports arterial function and blood flow AND there’s some Vitamin D in there as well which we seriously lack over the winter months. (worth £22)

fish oil

HEPASIL – If you like a drink, THIS is the supplement for you. (worth £32)

This is your Liver Detox. Everything you consume, everything, goes via the liver for removal of toxins. This can cause your liver to be overworked and stressed if you’re not consistently eating the right things causing all sorts of damage, from poor sleep, mood, weight gain, fatigue, illness and much more.

An unstable liver that isn’t functioning properly because of a build up of toxins (poor foods and alcohol) could cause a wide variety of long term health issues.

hepasil

PROBIOTICS – Outstanding support for gut health containing the ‘good bacteria’ your body needs for proper digestion plus improved immunity. (worth £25)

probiotic

DIGESTIVE ENZYME – Absolutely necessary considering the digestive assault you are about to put yourself through in the coming weeks! This will take care of your bloating and feelings of fullness or bloating after eating. (worth £30)

digestive enzyme

So, if you would like to purchase this pack, for yourself or someone else, I’ve arranged an awesome discount for you. It would normally cost you £151.50 but now………..£136.50

(that’s JUST £4.55 a day)

SHIPPING IS FREE if you take up this offer anytime up til the 1st of January 2016!

You know you’re gonna splash out this xmas.

Doesn’t it make sense to divert some of that money towards something that could do you GOOD rather than HARM?

If you would like to take advantage of this Offer, please send me a private inbox message.

Alternatively click on each image to take you straight to the store to buy the items you want.

GIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES THE GIFT OF HEALTH …

gift of health 2

Merry Christmas and a Fabulous new year from the Sexual Wellbeing Network!!

Has the doctor said you are anaemic?? Here’s what to do!!

Hello everyone,

anaemiaI have shot this short video as I come in contact with any people who are anaemic (have low blood counts) and they are struggling to correct it.

This is really a simple way especially for those who HATE their vegetables 😀 or who do not want to take iron tablets.

Here’s a simple way to build you blood levels using a delicious and healthy vehicle.

Dont forget to let me know if you found this video useful. Thanks!!

Link as promised 😀

http://bit.ly/1G6yxPV


Dr Adaeze is a Family Physician with a passion for helping people lead healthy lifestyles.

Disclosure: She is an independent Associate of USANA Health Sciences.

Want to know more? http://bit.ly/1LgSJQH

Help!! In search of role models!!

Adaeze Ifezulike

teenage health
One of the things that intrigues and saddens me is the transition I note in the medical records of a young girl as she grows into womanhood.
Initially most girls attend the GP for simple coughs and colds. All is rosy. A little paracetamol makes everything alright. She is her parents’ cute little thing with no cares in the world. She skips about the clinic curious about everything, as healthy as can be. The snuffly nose is likely viral and not needing anything done other than paracetamol for a slight fever.

She attends again just as she starts puberty. She is with mum and suddenly she needs 6 months of antibiotics to keep her acne at bay. No matter how I reassure her that her spots are an expected outcome of growing up and nothing to worry about she is adamant that they are ruining her life and must be…

View original post 1,235 more words

M.E.P Fit Woman

swn mep fit W

M.E.P means mentally, emotionally and physically fit woman.
At the Sexual wellbeing network, we firmly believe that women are the greatest assets of this century.
Whether a woman is a wife, mum, career woman, Vet, missionary or whatever, for her to maximise her potentials, she needs to be mentally, emotionally and physically fit.

The MEP Fit woman programs aim to encourage women to look beyond limitations and disappointments to a brighter future.
Anxiety, worry, guilt, hatred and such emotions are sometimes signs of a mentally and emotionally un-sound mind which will invariably affect one’s physical health.
Good evidence abound that a lot of physical illness have their root cause in mental and emotional imbalance within the individual.
So let go of ‘low level’ thinking such as self deprecation or under-valuing yourself and practice a ‘higher and empowering’ mental attitude that disciplines your emotions and invariably helps your physical health as well.

Watch out for a MEP Fit woman program coming to a location near you.

We have teamed up with the amazing Sunshine Mothers Club to present our next event on the 5th of September at Aberdeen.

It promises to be a life changing event, so SAVE THE DATE please 😀

More details soon!!

For enquiries, email: info@sexualwellbeingnetwork.com

 

Top Ten Women health issues

imageWe’ve come a long way since 1995–and it is time to celebrate women and their achievements. But it is also time to take stock of how women’s rights are fulfilled in the world –especially the right to health. Twenty years after countries signed pledges in the 1995 Beijing Declaration and Platform of Action, women still face many health problems and we must re-commit to addressing them.

Here are ten of the main issues regarding women’s health that keep me awake at night:

Cancer: Two of the most common cancers affecting women are breast and cervical cancers. Detecting both these cancers early is key to keeping women alive and healthy. The latest global figures show that around half a million women die from cervical cancer and half a million from breast cancer each year. The vast majority of these deaths occur in low and middle income countries where screening, prevention and treatment are almost non-existent, and where vaccination against human papilloma virus needs to take hold.

Reproductive health: Sexual and reproductive health problems are responsible for one third of health issues for women between the ages of 15 and 44 years. Unsafe sex is a major risk factor – particularly among women and girls in developing countries. This is why it is so important to get services to the 222 million women who aren’t getting the contraception services they need.

Maternal health: Many women are now benefitting from massive improvements in care during pregnancy and childbirth introduced in the last century. But those benefits do not extend everywhere and in 2013, almost 300 000 women died from complications in pregnancy and childbirth. Most of these deaths could have been prevented, had access to family planning and to some quite basic services been in place.

HIV: Three decades into the AIDS epidemic, it is young women who bear the brunt of new HIV infections. Too many young women still struggle to protect themselves against sexual transmission of HIV and to get the treatment they require. This also leaves them particularly vulnerable to tuberculosis – one of the leading causes of death in low-income countries of women 20–59 years.

Sexually transmitted infections: I’ve already mentioned the importance of protecting against HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) infection (the world’s most common STI). But it is also vital to do a better job of preventing and treating diseases like gonorrhoea, chlamydia and syphilis. Untreated syphilis is responsible for more than 200,000 stillbirths and early foetal deaths every year, and for the deaths of over 90 000 newborns.

Violence against women: Women can be subject to a range of different forms of violence, but physical and sexual violence – either by a partner or someone else – is particularly invidious. Today, one in three women under 50 has experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a partner, or non-partner sexual violence – violence which affects their physical and mental health in the short and long-term. It’s important for health workers to be alert to violence so they can help prevent it, as well as provide support to people who experience it.

Mental health: Evidence suggests that women are more prone than men to experience anxiety, depression, and somatic complaints – physical symptoms that cannot be explained medically. Depression is the most common mental health problem for women and suicide a leading cause of death for women under 60. Helping sensitise women to mental health issues, and giving them the confidence to seek assistance, is vital.

Noncommunicable diseases: In 2012, some 4.7 million women died from noncommunicable diseases before they reached the age of 70 —most of them in low- and middle-income countries. They died as a result of road traffic accidents, harmful use of tobacco, abuse of alcohol, drugs and substances, and obesity — more than 50% of women are overweight in Europe and the Americas. Helping girls and women adopt healthy lifestyles early on is key to a long and healthy life.

Being young: Adolescent girls face a number of sexual and reproductive health challenges: STIs, HIV, and pregnancy. About 13 million adolescent girls (under 20) give birth every year. Complications from those pregnancies and childbirth are a leading cause of death for those young mothers. Many suffer the consequences of unsafe abortion.

Getting older: Having often worked in the home, older women may have fewer pensions and benefits, less access to health care and social services than their male counterparts. Combine the greater risk of poverty with other conditions of old age, like dementia, and older women also have a higher risk of abuse and generally, poor health.

When I lie awake thinking of women and their health globally, I remind myself: the world has made a lot of progress in recent years. We know more, and we are getting better at applying our knowledge. At providing young girls a good start in life.

And there has been an upsurge in high-level political will – evidenced most recently in the United Nations Secretary-General’s Global Strategy for Women’s and Children’s Health. Use of services, especially those for sexual and reproductive health, has increased in some countries. Two important factors that influence women’s health – namely, school enrolment rates for girls and greater political participation of women – have risen in many parts of the world.

But we are not there yet. In 2015, in too many countries, “women’s empowerment” remains a pipedream – little more than a rhetorical flourish added to a politician’s speech. Too many women are still missing out on the opportunity to get educated, support themselves, and obtain the health services they need, when they need them.

That’s why WHO is working so hard to strengthen health systems and ensure that countries have robust financing systems and sufficient numbers of well-trained, motivated health workers. That’s why WHO, with UN and world partners, are coming together at the UN Commission on Status of Women from 9-20 March 2015 in New York. We will look again at pledges made in the 1995 Beijing Declaration and Platform of Action with a view to renewing the global effort to remove the inequalities that put decent health services beyond so many women’s reach.

And that is why WHO and its partners are developing a new global strategy for women’s, children’s and adolescents’ health, and working to enshrine the health of women in the post 2015 United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals. This means not only setting targets and indicators, but catalysing commitments in terms of policy, financing and action, to ensure that the future will bring health to all women and girls – whoever they are, wherever they live.

Dr Flavia Bustreo, Assistant Director General for Family, Women’s and Children’s Health through the Life-course, World Health Organization,

Register for the Afrocaribbean health event here http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/celebration-of-afro-caribbean-health-wellness-registration-16119556026
-99% of attendees felt the Afrocaribbean health event was worthwhile and met their specific needs.

Conversations with an African Grandmother

JulietGrandmother: Adaugo! Adaugo!

Adaugo (In a very sleepy voice): Eh nnem, I am coming o…
Grandmother: Nwam, I hope you had a good night’s sleep? Hurry up, have your bath, eat breakfast fast and accompany me to visit mama Ikenna

Adaugo: Nnem, isn’t a bit too early to be visiting anyone?

Grandmother: You know mama Ikenna and her theatrics. Her son Ike, came this morning before the sound of the first cock crow, to rouse me from sleep. Your grandfather did not find it amusing at all and even warned Ike severely. First, he asked him if anyone was at the point of death? When Ike replied in the negative, my Batram gave him a tongue lashing and lecture on how young men of today don’t respect the sacred hours that the body needs…

Adaugo (Smiling broadly): Nnem, everyone knows grandpapa doesn’t like anyone disturbing your sleep. He’s always complaining to mama and uncle Jaja that the townspeople bring all their problems to your doorstep.

Grandmother (Laughing cheekily): Woman to woman, you know a man is fully awake and standing early in the morning. Ike’s loud knocking came at a most unfortunate time for your grandfather. I pity the poor young man.
Leave that aside, get ready, let us go across and see what mama Ike is worrying about today. Just yesterday, we finished rejoicing that her daughter Olihe had recently put to birth, a bouncing, baby boy. I pity that poor child Olihe. Each time she comes homes, she’s disappearing more and more into shadow of herself. I hope all her constant quarrels with her husband will finally cease.

Adaugo: Nnem, I’m sure it will be a short visit. Let me just brush my teeth and splash some water. I can bathe fully when we get back.

Grandmother: Okay, hurry up. I still have to finish up my story to your sister, Adaku. I can tell that Ekwunife’s talk hurt her deeply, no matter how she pretends. I know she’s still crazy about that isi coconut she married.

(Loud knocking at the door) Kpom! Kpom! Kpom!
Onye kwa? All these early morning callers! Polycap, Polycap, hurry and see who’s at the gate.

Adaugo: Nnem, let me go and open the gate. I don’t think he’s at home. Polyp said he would be going to Onitsha very early in the morning to buy some plumbing materials to fix his bathroom.

Grandmother: Oh yes, he did mention that to me yesterday. See how my memory fails me, old age is finally here to stay.

Adaugo: Nnem, you’re still the sharpest and smartest woman I know. Let me go and open the door.


 

(Adaugo comes back into the room, followed closely by Mama Ikenna)

Grandmother: My dear neighbour, how are you and your husband? We were about to come to your house. I hope all is well.

Mama Ikenna (Turning to her son and Adaugo): Both of you children, biko wait for me outside the room. Let me speak with my mama Jaja over something very important. (The children exchanged amused looks, with Adaugo rolling her eyes as they both stepped out of the room).

Grandmother: Ngwa, mama Ike, my dear sister and neighbour, o gini? Did anyone die?

Mama Ikenna: No

Grandmother: Is anyone sick? Is Olihe’s baby okay? Is she fine?

Mama Ikenna: No! It’s none of that. (Bursting into tears): It is Olihe’s husband o. Chiedozie has started his madness again. My poor, beautiful daughter, Olihedinma, what kind of bad luck is this? My enemies are after my happiness, they will never succeed. I will bind all of them with the blood…

Grandmother (Interrupting her): Please, biko I beg of you before you start cursing your enemies and binding people up and down, let us unbound your story. Biko, may you please tell me what the actual problem is?

Mama Ikenna: Mama Jaja, ndo. My apologies, it is just that my heart is very heavy today. After I left you yesterday, I went to St Anthony of Padua prayer meeting as we agreed. I had not even announced the good news, before Olihe’s neighbour, Mr Okoro, that very helpful man who lost his wife at the beginning of the year, came to find me and he shared some very disturbing news. Do you know that just barely 24 hours after my daughter Olihe put to birth, her husband raised a hand on her again! What have we done to Chiedozie eh? Why does he keep using Olihe as a punching bag?

Before, I thought it was because she had given him only 3 girls but now that she has a son, he still beats my daughter. Why is this happening to my daughter? Why is this happening to our family. First, her father beat me for years, until he had his stroke and now my own daughter is going through the same thing again! Chukwu nna, o gini ka any melu?

(She breaks down into loud, agonized crying)

Grandmother: Mama Ike, biko I’m sorry but I have nothing to say to you. You already have the answers you seek. The first time Chiedozie beat up your daughter, our beautiful, shy and quiet Olihe, what did I tell you? Did you not ignore me? What do you want me to do now? Tell your daughter to wait till her husband has a stroke or till he kills her, i nu go? Do you hear me?

Mama Ikenna: Mama Jaja, my dear friend and neighbour, please forgive me. I know you’re still angry with me. I should have listened to you before. You know that years ago, when Olihe came back crying and complaining that she didn’t want to be married to Chiedozie any longer, I was the one who told her to shut up and go back to her husband’s house. I thought it was because she had not had a baby boy and so her husband was angry at her. I remember you told me to call a meeting of ndi umuada and umunna so that they could admonish Chiedozie and his family. Yes, you even suggested that she stays home with me and wait till her husband comes for her.

Grandmother: Exactly! Your daughter comes to you in her pain and instead of you to be a tigress and fight for her, you shame her into believing she is less than and unworthy of love. What has having a male or female child got to do with anything? Are all children not gifts from God? You were afraid of what people will say. You fear the tongues wagging. You did not want her to rock the proverbial boat. Okay, ngwa nu, the boat has capsized, do you want to teach her how to swim to safety or are you still living in denial? Call Adaugo and your son Ikenna to come in. This is part of your problem. Why are you hiding these things from the children? How will your son learn to be a better man if you don’t show him the pain caused by his father and now, your son-in-law?

(Mama Ike goes outside and brings in Adaugo and Ike)

Grandmother: Adaugo, Ike, sit down and listen carefully. Ngwa, my sister, tell them about Olihe’s situation.
(After a few minutes of narration, Ikenna rises up in anger).

Ikenna: Mama, I remember when sister Olihe came home crying, a few years after she got married. Obinna and I were very young but I’ll never forget how sister cried and cried and begged you and papa to let her stay. When we woke up in the morning, she was already gone. I remember asking you why she was crying and you dismissed my questions, saying she was being childish. I tried asking more questions but you slapped me and told me to mind my business. Mama, the reason why I never forgot sister Olihe’s cries was that it reminded me so much of yours…

Grandmother: Mama Ike, my sister, you see? The things we think we hide in the dark, the children see with their light. The mother’s pain is sucked by the baby through her breastmilk. You did your daughter and your sons a great injustice. And now you must correct it.

Mama Ikenna: What are we to do? Should we call a family meeting and contact Chiedozie’s family?

Grandmother: Mba, that is the second stage. The first thing is to get your daughter to safety. Ikenna, nwam, go and call your brother Obinna and also all your male cousins. The 4 sons of your father’s brother, nnanyi Ezeugo and your father’s half-brother, okechukwu are enough. All seven of you must come back here, lets plan a visit to ‘strong man’ Chiedozie.

Adaugo: Nnem, biko, I hope you’re not planning what I think you are? This sounds like our family’s famed method alias ‘The Uncle JAJA approach’

Mama Ikenna: My sister, what is this ‘The Uncle JAJA approach?

(Adaugo and Grandmother burst into simultaneous laughter)

Adaugo: Nnem, you will have to tell this story. I was too young when it happened….

Grandmother: My dear sister, mama Ike, its a simple and short story. Hmmmnnn, a long time ago, my hothead of a son, Jaja, the famed writer, came back from obodo oyibo with his wife, Kego. You know Zinachukwudi, Jaja’s wife. She’s our friend, Uzoaku’s daughter. That quiet, respectful and intelligent girl, I was so thrilled that he met and married the daughter of someone I have loved like a sister for years.

Well, just after the wedding they had a quarrel and in the process, my dear Jaja raised his fist against this beautiful daughter-in-law that God blessed our family with. The worst part was that she was pregnant at the time. Alu! Can you imagine the shame and pain? I have never seen a woman love someone like my Zina loved Jaja nwam.

Mama Ikenna: Unbelievable! Jaja dotes on his wife. They are always celebrated on television and in those big, big city magazines. In fact, everyone says he’s like Nna anyi Batram….

Grandmother: My dear, it wasn’t always like that. I know my son has always been hot-tempered, coupled with his mood swings whenever he’s writing those his fat, fat university text books and novels….Anyway, Zina came running to Batram and I to report Jaja’s actions to us. To say we were shocked was an understatement. Where did this boy learn such behaviour? It broke Batram’s heart to see that a son he’d raised would treat a woman so. I was in such a terrible shock. That is the thing with children, they will always surprise you!

So Batram had a lengthy and heavy talks with him for some days and also send him to the Reverend Father’s classes, as he put it ‘so he would learn some more about being a husband and a real man’. Batram even insisted that Zina go back home to her family and stay there for a few weeks while Jaja finishes his ‘manhood’ classes as he termed them.

Jaja was of course shattered by all of this, he apologized over and over again to his lovely wife. In fact, Zina started getting angry at all the hoops that Batram was making her husband jump. The day she was to go to her family, she woke up and suddenly announced to my beloved and I, that she had forgiven her hubby and was ready to get back together with him.

My Batram almost fell for her pleas. But I was adamant. You know the problem with you young ladies of nowadays…

Adaugo interrupting, with mirth: Too much book sense and not enough common sense!

Grandmother: Exactly! Love nwantiti was shacking my dear daughter-in-law. So I called her quietly into my bedroom and had a heart to heart with her. Basically, I told her that unconditional love is a beautiful thing but it also needs sweet conditioning oils of respect and honour, if not it will turn bitter very quickly. I also told her that she must go back to her parents and wait for Jaja and the clan to come and beg her people.

It was important that Jaja also go before ndi umuada and umunna to tell them how he used his wife as a punching bag and disgraced the clan. He would also explain the steps he had taken to understand his triggers and deal with his self-control issues. Of course Zina thought all these were too much for her beloved. She expressed her displeasure that we were giving him such a hard time. But I did not relent and so she went to her people.

Well, the next thing I did was call his male cousins, Bernard’s sons and Zina’s two elder brotherss, they were 7 young men in total. And I instructed them to give my Jaja the beating of his life. Gentle enough not to seriously hurt him but firm enough that he would remember and feel the pain! And thereafter, we happily and proudly accompanied him to plead for his wife, Zina’s hand. And the rest they say is history…

Mama Ikenna: I don’t understand, so why did you have his seven cousins beat him up?
Adaugo: Aunty, that is the same question we all asked when we heard this story. And to this day, we tease uncle Jaja about that beating, albeit to his chagrin.

And it always makes aunty Zina so happy. She always tells anyone who cares to listen with pride: “When my soulmate Jay, made the mistake of beating me, he got the beating of his life, went for manhood classes and came to re-ask for my hand in marriage, with a pledge to my people never to do that again…because I am his queen.”

To which uncle Jaja would always reply by planting a big kiss on her lips and bowing in an exaggerated way to her, saying with aplomb, ‘Indeed, you are my queen.’ Then he would remind us all that his wife loved him so much that she actually begged his parents to forgive him. And that she didn’t want to go back to her own parents…..

Grandmother: Mama Ike, my dear sister, in our tradition, seven is the number of completion and it is important that we always complete the cycle of our stories in order that forgiveness happens.

Mama Ikenna: I still don’t understand, what has that got to do with having Jaja beaten up.

Adaugo: (Laughing) Biko, don’t bother to even listen to grandmama about this her number 7 nonsense. She tries to justify her actions. Truth is, she’s a fierce advocate against violence of any kind and worst of all against women. We all secretly think she beat up Jaja to score a personal point.

Grandmother (laughing heartily): Adaugo nwam, there’s no secret about it. Imagine the shock of my own son raising a finger against his woman, and a pregnant wife at that! Abomination. Which ear will hear this and not be in shock? It is very simple. Jaja beat up his wife. If all he did was apologize and she took him back, that is such a disempowering story for her. And you know how I hate incomplete stories. (Chuckling loudly and mischievously). The complete story today is that he beat up Zina and then 5 of his own cousins and 2 of Zina’s brothers beat him up too. Then, he had to go for a course and come to her people to beg. That is a kind of love story that is sweet for years to come.

It is important that a woman (or man) never settles for a resolution that in years to come will bring up resentment. Plus, every man in the clan now knows that to raise your hand against any woman is not something we do. So, let Ikenna and Obinna gather their cousins, because Chiedozie is about to learn that Olihedinma has mad people in her family too. Sometimes, you have to shake up a bad pattern loose. And if he does not change, mama ike, it is better you settle to accept and love a single daughter who’s alive and well, than a married daughter whose spirit is already dead. She who has ears, let them hear!

Adaugo, eh he, before I forget, remember to ask me about the story of Mama Ezinne’s daughter, Azuka. Her father, Azikiwe, refused to go for her 7th child’s naming ceremony. Azikiwe really impressed me o. There are so many lessons for all of us women in their story. But first, let us implement the JAJA treatment on isi okpukpu Chiedozie.

Adaugo: Nnem!!

Grandmother: Why are you calling me? Since Chiedozie has shown that he has fighting prowess, let us give him 7 of his age mates to practice with, Olihedinma is not the correct match for him, ….(To be continued)

Culled from the super new book written by the amazing Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido of the Whole Woman Network. Available December 2015. We can’t wait to get the whole book and see what happens to chiedozie 🙂