My drinking determines my sexual health!

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I went to use one of the hospital bathrooms while on duty and as I opened the door, a voice screamed out ‘Cant someone have some peace here?’
I summoned the courage to open the door wider and found a young lady sprawled on the toilet floor obviously too drunk to realise she was in a public toilet and not in her own bedroom.
Poor thing!
With the help of security, she was escorted to her own house.
Research show that our young people continue to drink alcohol excesively.
Alcohol excess blurs the lines between responsible behaviour and what is not responsible behaviour. Many young people engage in reckless and risky sexual behaviour under the influence of alcohol.One of the major fall-out of this is the rise in the incidence of unplanned pregnancies and teenage pregnancies.
Unplanned and teenage pregnancies can result in disruption to social, mental and academic wellbeing of young people. Sexually transmitted infections (STI) like Chlamydia and HIV are also possible consequences of risky sexual behaviour.
All sexually active young children should be encouraged to delay sexual intercourse until they are much older and in committed relationships. But if this advise falls on deaf ears, it is important that contraception is available for young people to use.
Barrier type contraceptions like condoms used carefully can prevent transmission of STIs and also prevent pregnancy.
Contraceptions that need to be remembered such as condoms, daily pills or weekly patches can easily be ommited in the heat of passion. As a result, I strongly advocate the use of reversible long acting contraceptions such as the implants or coils for young people.
My book ‘Understanding contraception’ was written to explain the concept of contraception in a way any young person above the age of 14 years can understand.
 understanng contraception214
You can get it by clicking here for your young people as an eBook or to get the hard copy, click here. They will find the illustrations and jokes very engaging while learning about the different contraceptions and how they work.
I believe that equiping our young children with information does not make them promiscuous but rather protects them from easily avoidable mistakes.

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Have you ever been diagnosed with Hepatitis C? Do you want to know more about the condition?

Whether you currently have the virus or have cleared it, this FREE conference is for you.

Wednesday 19 March 2014, at the Tolbooth, Stirling, Scotland.

Free transport arrangements will be made for all who wish to attend.

Please contact Margo Urquhart Project Support Manager -Sexual Health and BBV MCN at if you are interested.

It promises to be an enlightening day.

A selection of workshop topics include:

A: Demystifying Hepatitis C

B: Living with Hepatitis C: A dietician and Waverley Care Life Coach worker will explain how diet, exercise, smoking, alcohol and other drugs impacts on your health while living with Hepatitis C.
C: Hepatitis C and Families: session on what the implications are on your sexual and reproductive health while living with, and after, Hepatitis C.

D: Peer Support: Hepatitis C Trust will hold a session on the different types of peer support available, how to access it, and how to start your own peer support group.

Why is Sexual Wellbeing so important?

sexual wellbeing network

sexual wellbeing network

I face this unspoken question constantly. And then there’s the strange look that people pretend not to give me when I’m in full flow 🙂

People wonder why I am not talking about diabetes or cancer or multiple sclerosis. While these are all worthwhile topics for a doctor to engage his or her time with, I feel I need to make my case for sexual wellbeing. So read on…
  • Sexual wellbeing is an essential part of the healthy development of all individual.
    How you feel about your body and what you understand about intimacy can have a bearing on your development.
    It can affect your ability to cultivate, enjoy and maintain respectful relationships.
    It determines your feelings of self worth and esteem.
  • The ability to give and receive acts of affection is so integral to human beings.
    We are made to give affection and with our five senses we can do this in various ways.
    A warm smile with a glint in the eye can convey appreciation and lighten the mood.
    A kind word gladdens the ears and heart of the recipient.
    A soft caring touch speaks volumes about love and security.
    A kiss can be so meaningful and what tastes better than a lover’s (clean) tongue 🙂 Lol!
    The fresh smell after a shower can set the stage for great sexual intimacy… throw in some good perfume too!
    When we give affection, we bless the object of our affection and in return we are blessed. ‘Whatever we sow, we reap’ says the Good Book.
  • Lives are destroyed when development of sexual wellbeing is distorted.
    A little boy who grows up witnessing his mother being beaten or verbally abused by his father, has a two in three chance of doing the same thing to the women he eventually has a relationship with as an adult.
    A little girl who grows up believing that her self-worth can only be found when she is in bed with a man and therefore hops from man to man ends up disillusioned and the attainment of self esteem seems ever farther away. No wonder depression, anxiety, self harm and other destructive tendencies continue to plague our young girls.
    A man who is enslaved by pornography learns to see women as objects to satisfy his lust and fantasies rather than fellow human beings with feelings. He is unable to develop the skills of relating to real women. No wonder pornography is at the root of countless cases of rape and sexual murder crimes!
    Films that show women being brutally murdered, flogged while tied to posts and other acts of force and violence only serve to desensitize society and turn us all into monsters.
These are just some examples of sexual wellbeing gone wrong.
When sexual wellbeing isn’t achieved, the individual suffers. The family unit suffers. The society suffers.
Dysfunctional individuals make a dysfunctional society!
Let’s start talking sexual wellbeing.
Let’s demystify it. Let our little ones learn in an atmosphere of safety and love.
Let’s clean up our television shows and other forms of popular media.
Let’s pursue sexual wellbeing on all fronts and our society will be all the better for it.

What has Cabbage got to do with Sex?!

Sexual Wellbeing Network

I once watched a chef on Youtube who was demonstrating how to cook cabbage with noodles.When she started listing her ingredients she called cabbage ‘gabbage.’ I assumed I hadn’t heard her right.
“Must have been a slip of tongue,’ I thought “Whoever calls ‘cabbage’ gabbage?”
And then she called it gabbage right till the end!
Well I watched to the end and wasn’t particularly impressed. And to crown it all, she said you could buy her recipe on Amazon! What a nerve! I thought. She is calling ‘cabbage’ gabbage and selling it on Amazon too! Humph!
My enjoyment of her show and appreciation of her culinary expertise had been hindered because I was put off that she was saying the wrong thing.
So what am I on about today? Is this now a cooking blog? : D
But this made me think of the ideas many people have in their heads about sexual intimacy. Some have grown up thinking its a ‘dirty thing’ and this completely spoils their enjoyment of what can be so fulfilling and healthy as well. Sex is relaxing, it de-stresses you, fosters more intimacy between couples – what’s there not to like?!
Our mindset can make or mar our sexual experience.
Sometimes we are just too tired to bother and if one partner wants it but the other pushes them away, that can cause unnecessary conflict in marriage. 
A simple tip: If your partner comes to you and it’s obvious they want sex, but you have been to work, done the school run, cooked the dinner, sang at choir during the evening service and just managed to get the kids off to bed…all you need is some sleep for goodness sake! Yes: I know that feeling!
But give your partner a hug and a small kiss instead of pushing him away and say “Darling I want to make this great for you. Please let me sleep for two hours and I will be all hot for you. I promise.”
It works well for both of you 😉